Dear Mr. Habit,
I don't like your new book, "It Itches". I snuck it into a gift order when I was at the bookstore, hoping to have a little treat for myself, but my husband plucked it out of the bag. He laughed out loud and walked out of the room with it. Then he showed a few pictures to my teenage son who took it downstairs.
When I retrieved it, I slid it under a tome of poems at my bedside. But what colour is the cover? Hugely bright bile green.
My daughter spied it and laughed all the way to her room. She is 15, and I need not underline the fact that most of the objects in the house, including dirty dishes and my scarves have been thrown into that vortex so as to defy the normal mass to space ratio. I may never see it again.
Maybe I should buy one for my friend and "borrow" it.