Resilience

You should really tell me not to knit during a working set. The Hey Teach back looks almost exactly the same, but now it has been reknit because I tried to convince myself that I had the right number of stitches. It worked for a while, and then the charm of the number wore off and I had to rip back. It's not the pattern's fault.
I wish I could rip back the last two days at work. My practical nurse who is supposed to be working in tandem (with me in charge) has made it clear that she thinks I should already know everything and I'm headed for falling on my face. I disappointed her with the first, but not the second. But you know, I sought advice from the other RNs and no one knew the protocol until I got to work the next day and could feel the residual anger.
I have two nights now with her and am spending too much energy worrying if I should confront her with the "you don't have to like me but you have to work with me for the good of the patients" or the "I'm trying to respect your experience but I need more help" or the go home and cry at the end. This is why I left nursing. I could get all sorts of support from the rest of the group, but I don't want camps to ensue.
Right now I feel like the spent elastic on that old pair of underpants. Very little stretch left before everything falls apart.